Spotlighting the good
By: Margie Lee
There is something heavy about being an outsider walking into a school carrying the weight of a label. As a K-12 state transformation coach, I spend much of my time in schools identified as needing state support. My days are filled with schools often described by their challenges: underperforming, struggling, low-performing, or “on the list.” In the spirit of improving outcomes for children, the conversations are often prescriptive, centering on deficits, accountability, teacher quality, or any number of labels.
Over the years, I have noticed something important: labels can shape what I notice. When I hear what is broken, I begin looking for brokenness everywhere. I notice the disruption in instruction before the kindness in interactions, the referral to be excluded from the classroom before the repaired relationship, the struggle before the strength. I become so focused on closing the gap that I forget the very people I serve. Behind every test score or accountability measure label is a shared history, a group of people, a community, and a collection of stories.
Last Fall, I joined a small cohort of educators in the Simple Interactions “community of practice” because I wanted to better notice human relationships. I knew that the most important part of the schools I work in are the people. I had attended Simple Interactions webinars virtually, and I wanted to go deeper with the tool. I wanted to move from simply learning about the tool to practicing it. Meeting monthly, cohort members would share a challenge in practice, and we would collaborate on ideas in response to it, using our shared SI lens. The problem solving was invaluable, but more important even than generating solutions was the experience of community.
For me, Simple Interactions has become a way of looking and listening carefully and spotlighting the good even in hard places. The tool offers me structure around my desire to intentionally build relationships in schools. Using the tool and focusing on relational capacity offers me a way to show administrators positive things that are happening in their building. After spotlighting these interactions, they begin to look for those same strengths. The truth is, what you look for, you will find.
I have seen a teacher kneel beside a frustrated student with their head on the desk and quietly say, “I’m glad you’re here today.” I have watched classmates gently help one another understand directions, older students encourage younger ones, and adults pause long enough to truly listen to a child who needed to be heard.
These moments are easy to miss in schools carrying heavy burdens. If we miss these moments in spaces where urgency for academic improvement is high, then we miss the opportunity to celebrate the strength of the community. Looking for the strengths of the people in schools, lightens the burden and offers a foundation on which to build.
Without even introducing the tool, I have shared with principals that school improvement begins with noticing. Now when I enter a school, I start by noticing trust, belonging, joy, encouragement, and small acts of care that might otherwise go unnamed. I have intentionally coached principals to focus on relationship building by answering the question: How can my leadership help encourage, enrich, and empower human relationships around students, families, and teachers in my building? I have seen so much growth in the relationships between teachers and students in the schools I support.
This does not mean ignoring what is hard. The challenges in these schools are real, and academic urgency matters. I have come to believe that in schools that have been labeled as underperforming, one of the first steps toward change is helping adults see that positive relationships are already happening and can be found. School culture and hope are built around spotlighting the good.
Once we notice the good, we can name it. And once we name it, we can grow it. I am so grateful for the support of our Simple Interactions cohort. My own practice as a transformation coach has been transformed by my experience of community with them.
Over the years, I have noticed something important: labels can shape what I notice. When I hear what is broken, I begin looking for brokenness everywhere. I notice the disruption in instruction before the kindness in interactions, the referral to be excluded from the classroom before the repaired relationship, the struggle before the strength. I become so focused on closing the gap that I forget the very people I serve. Behind every test score or accountability measure label is a shared history, a group of people, a community, and a collection of stories.
Last Fall, I joined a small cohort of educators in the Simple Interactions “community of practice” because I wanted to better notice human relationships. I knew that the most important part of the schools I work in are the people. I had attended Simple Interactions webinars virtually, and I wanted to go deeper with the tool. I wanted to move from simply learning about the tool to practicing it. Meeting monthly, cohort members would share a challenge in practice, and we would collaborate on ideas in response to it, using our shared SI lens. The problem solving was invaluable, but more important even than generating solutions was the experience of community.
For me, Simple Interactions has become a way of looking and listening carefully and spotlighting the good even in hard places. The tool offers me structure around my desire to intentionally build relationships in schools. Using the tool and focusing on relational capacity offers me a way to show administrators positive things that are happening in their building. After spotlighting these interactions, they begin to look for those same strengths. The truth is, what you look for, you will find.
I have seen a teacher kneel beside a frustrated student with their head on the desk and quietly say, “I’m glad you’re here today.” I have watched classmates gently help one another understand directions, older students encourage younger ones, and adults pause long enough to truly listen to a child who needed to be heard.
These moments are easy to miss in schools carrying heavy burdens. If we miss these moments in spaces where urgency for academic improvement is high, then we miss the opportunity to celebrate the strength of the community. Looking for the strengths of the people in schools, lightens the burden and offers a foundation on which to build.
Without even introducing the tool, I have shared with principals that school improvement begins with noticing. Now when I enter a school, I start by noticing trust, belonging, joy, encouragement, and small acts of care that might otherwise go unnamed. I have intentionally coached principals to focus on relationship building by answering the question: How can my leadership help encourage, enrich, and empower human relationships around students, families, and teachers in my building? I have seen so much growth in the relationships between teachers and students in the schools I support.
This does not mean ignoring what is hard. The challenges in these schools are real, and academic urgency matters. I have come to believe that in schools that have been labeled as underperforming, one of the first steps toward change is helping adults see that positive relationships are already happening and can be found. School culture and hope are built around spotlighting the good.
Once we notice the good, we can name it. And once we name it, we can grow it. I am so grateful for the support of our Simple Interactions cohort. My own practice as a transformation coach has been transformed by my experience of community with them.